paint a picture with your eyes

i'm really that pathetic.
i curse the day you were born. i will forever worship your birthday. however, if you grow too old i'll become afraid of what comes next. if i am afraid of what comes next, then how will i live spontaneously? how will i survive without enthusiasm? can i live without that light? the light of spontaneity, that is. that is which i feed off of. although, not really. i tend to feed off of pessimism more than anything. i want to live life to its full potential, but if i do, won't there be consequences? won't there be some sort of obstacle i'll have to overcome? there's no possible way that living life to the fullest is that easy.