as hard as i try

i never seem to be happy.
you never seem to be happy.
i'm really fucking trying here. i'm trying my hardest. i can't even believe i'm letting this get to me. i'm better than this. i'm better than you. you don't understand how much i need you. you are officially one of my vital organs. i know i'm fucking weird, but it's true. without you i'd have close to nothing. you don't tell me anything anymore. i'm getting sick. i'm slowly fading. the green grass is no longer green. the ocean no longer moves for you. the clouds no longer float for me. the trees no longer sway for us. i am me and you are you. two completely different people with completely different ideas on life. i wish i could know your ideas and you could know mine. but telling you this would be a complete waste of my time. i'd only get a pathetic response like, "ok" or "cool", which would just ruin me. what are we but specs of dust lost in time? we can be nothing, yet be everything at once. i wish i could understand. i wish you could understand. but as of now, i'll be posting these ridiculous blogs that mean nothing.