realizations.

I've realized that not everyone will be my friend forever.
I've lost 3 best friends, and I feel like I'm losing another.
Realizations are hard to come by and when they hit, they can hit hard or soft, depending on the matter.
This one has hit medium rare, if that's possible. Believe it or not, I know that this is happening and there's no denying it. Relationships thrive on seeing each other, sharing everything, and trust. I've been less trustworthy than normal, and less open. I feel like if I do end up losing this friend, no I'm not name-dropping, it will be bittersweet.
Bitter because, yeah everyone hates losing a friend especially such a close friend.
Sweet because, I'll be left with the wisdom and respect for him/her.

The point of this blog is not to complain about losing a friend, but to thank them for being there through the hardest moments and to appreciate their kindness.
Even if the person never reads it, they know what's happening, and they know somehow, someway, this is about them.

Another realization I've come to is that I really need to lose weight.
Diabetes is a possibility in my family genes, and if I get overweight, I'll be regretting the way I have lived life.

Dear (name),
I appreciate you more than you could ever fathom. I believe that if I hadn't made decisions that put us further and further apart our friendship would still be growing and growing by the second. Things aren't the same when I'm around you. I don't feel like I can fully be myself anymore. Who knows, maybe I don't even know myself. I wish you the best of luck in everything you do, and if we become closer, great. If we don't that's just the way life's paths lead us.

Love,
The best friend who was never there for you.

Always remember, no matter how many times you deny it, Myspace and Facebook heroes/statuses etc., will always mean something to you.